Dear Britannia Hotel Manager,

I am spending one night here on a business trip and feel compelled to write immediately to express my extreme disappointment in the standard of the rooms. After reading of the hotel’s illustrious history and seeing the grand exterior, I expected a lot more.

On arrival I was allocated a room that I had to ask to be changed as when I sat on the bed, I sank into a huge dip where all the springs were gone. This is the first time I have ever asked to be moved in a hotel and due to the nature of my work I stay in many, so I think that says a lot about the standard of the room.

I was then moved into a room after complaining on the phone to a receptionist that didn’t apologise and offer to come and move me to another room but told me to come back down to reception from the 5th floor and talk to them there.

I was then allocated a room that smelt of stale smoke and air freshener and had amazingly cheap and old-fashioned furniture the like of which I haven’t seen in a hotel, or anywhere in fact, for many years. Not only old-fashioned, it was badly chipped and covered in finger marks, cup rings and dust. A TV that the guide claimed had several satellite channels had in fact only the terrestial ones and the carpet didn’t quite reach the edge of the furniture so the bare floor was exposed.

At this point I recognised the futility in asking to be moved again as obviously all of the rooms were going to be of the same poor standard. When travelling on business trips I make the most of the opportunity of having no distractions to catch up on emails and work in my room, however rather than sit in my smelly, cold room, which didn’t appear to have any internet access anyway judging from the information leaflet in the room, I ventured out to a local coffee shop to work, which while rather distracting did offer much more pleasant surroundings.

As a historic hotel in a major UK city I expected a lot more and I highly recommend that you refurbish your rooms to a standard that discerning business vistors expect. While I appreciate that you may feel you are being sympathetic to the era of the hotel’s founding with the art-deco patterns on the wallpaper and borders, I’m sorry to say that the reality is that you are falling way short of the mark.

On a brighter note though, because of the appalling standard of the rooms I decided not to have room service dinner as I usually do and ventured out to a close-by Keralan restaurant, where the food and the service were superb.