Dear Danny Walker,
Whilst on holidays I spent a rainy day in Venice reading a book entitled ‘Awkward Situations for Men.’ Fortunately I didn’t waste my own money on this lazy waste of paper because then this letter would really be mad.
What irritated me was that rather than being funny, amusing, anecdotal tales of a likeable bumbler they were instead the dull, boring and average tales, averagely written of an everyman. I don’t think that your book would even have been published if it wasn’t for the strength of previous work.
And that is the part that frustrates me. It was sloppy, lazily put together and it felt like a minimum effort piece of work. Its obvious there are more important things going on in your life right now, and perhaps you have simply run out of things to say.
Write for the paper if you must, but please don’t compile a vanity project of your columns and dress them up as a book. Especially when you don’t have anything new or funny to present. If you can’t be brilliant, don’t bother.
Right now you are wearing the crown of mediocrity, which I think you probably borrowed from whichever waste of space ‘writer’ penned the Sex and the City films.
