Dear Auntie.

I am writing this letter to inform you of your bad habits, I think you are unaware of them and the effect it has on people. I am writing this letter out of love for you and nothing else, I do not mean to offend and only hope for this to better you as a person.

Well firstly dearest auntie, your daughter Harriet and I have come to the conclusion that you love our dog Jack more than you love us. We find this highly disturbing and a little bit offensive. We were here first and he is a dog, Auntie he’s a dog. You greet him at the door before you greet us and tell him how much you miss him. You call him “sweetheart” and my “precious thing.” While Harriet and I never hear these words of affection. I am not jealous of the dog, on the contrary but I just feel he is stealing a part of your heart that should belong to me. I hope you don’t buy him a Christmas present this year, really Auntie… he doesn’t need a wrapped up gift under the tree.

Secondly you ask a lot of questions, and I mean a lot. “Where are you going?” “Who are you meeting” “What are you doing?” “Where did she go?” “Why is she going upstairs?” “Will you be back for dinner?” I could go on. You do not need to know my every move, who I am seeing, what I am doing or why I am doing it. Especially when I am only going upstairs to use the bathroom! You ask me not just of my whereabouts but of Harriet’s too and somehow expect me to read her mind and know the answers. You don’t even think before you ask them, they just roll off your tongue as soon as somebody leaves the room, it’s habit now I know this but you need to break it before it breaks me.

“Will you be back for dinner?” Auntie I have heard this same question every single day of my life, sometimes more than once a day. I cannot and will not plan my social life around the 8pm stamp that is labelled “dinner time” I just can’t do it. I am 21 and do not know if I will be home by 8pm for dinner and it doesn’t really matter if I am back or not. The world will not end, trust me… it won’t!
Auntie I love you and I hope you know this; I do not want this letter to be upsetting but just to highlight a few little things I think you need to change. The dog and dinner, the two DD’s have come to be my enemies. I don’t want enemies.

All my love, your loving niece