Dear God

You won’t be able to ignore this Epistle; I’m sending it by text message as well. I’ve got a friend in NASA who’s got his ways of bouncing messages off things in space, your space and my space too. You’re out there somewhere so read it, please?

My complaint is simply this – why haven’t you got stuck into the climate change debate yet? It’s doing the rounds and it’s doing my head in. I’m just a little annoyed (me swearing won’t do any good, God) that you haven’t got round to sending us human folk a sign, yet. Just what are you waiting for?

You could say…

‘Cool down my children, I’ve seen all this before…lost sight of the times, in fact. The world got through high temperatures before even if it was a bit messy then. Just as well I didn’t have time to make human kind…I’d have had complaints for aeons…is that the right word? Never mind.

If you behave with nature you’ll get by. Drive about less, stop buying all that foreign stuff! Make it at home and keep yourselves busy (and paid). Stop being hypocrites…complain about the global warming but fly around everywhere…in ‘planes! For God’s sake (yours) keep away from the Poles (save the bears).’

Got the idea, God?

I’m complaining because no one listens. Make it rain in Africa? Do that and ease everyone’s conscience…just a bit.
Some thunderbolts will show me that you’ve got this message.

Bless you!