In my opinion some of the best things in life have slowly disappeared.

First there was the disappearance of newspaper from the fish and chip shops. Replaced by what they termed more hygienic plain white offcuts, and plastic trays with little plastic forks. Not quite the same somehow. This was quickly followed by frying fish and chips in oil of all things ugh! Can’t even get a decent pennyworth of scraps these days. Then some bright spark saw a profit in frozen fish, so now we are saddled with fish that bends like rubber, soggy batter, and overpriced chips soaked in oil.

The sausage was next. Whatever happened to the good old fashioned banger? The skin cracked as you bit through it into the delicious flavour of beef; real beef. And pork sausage used to be such a treat with chipolatas a luxury; all tasting of succulent meat with that special seasoning the local butcher mixed himself. Today they all taste the same, bland and uninteresting. The packet says 90% beef, but I reckon their math’s are atrocious, and I’m sure they fill them with meat flavoured soya.

And what about bacon ay? have you ever seen anything so altered in all your life? Bacon used to be good thick slices and fried in a pan beautiful. The aroma knocked you for six. And the taste, well; the taste was out of this world. Nothing better than a bacon butty! Now the bacon is aneamic looking, not appetising at all. And by the way – how come when I put bacon in a pan to fry, the pan is full of water when I take it out, and what’s that white stuff? Someone tells me they inject water into bacon to make up weight. The crafty so and so’s!

Have you noticed the size of a standard bar of milk chocolate today? In grammes you see to fool you. It was much bigger years ago; a full 2oz in them days. Now you get a few grammes, and a lot more money you pay to boot. Same with petrol. Now that’s a real rip-off. My old car used tc do forty miles to the gallon just as many years ago. Petrol then was only five bob a gallon. Now petrol costs over four quid a gallon; it’s called green or something, and I only get about thirty out of it.

Newspapers today are full of dolly birds, sport, and lottery games – lots of advert’s, and full of sensationalism. They all look the same to me. All obsessed with talent shows, pop stars and slagging off royalty. Years ago my old dad used to have a saying….Newspapers are only good for eating fish and chips out of. And you take them both with a pinch of salt. Today you can’t even say that. Newspaper is banned for wrapping up fish and chips.