Dear Mr Sainsbury (Or Mrs although I doubt it as she would have ensured your nuts were sparkling prior to going on display)

I am writing to you regarding an experience I was unfortunate enough to endure today. Not an elderly gentleman bent over the tomatoes fingering them with his quite frankly filthy paws although I hasten to add that did actually happen in your store. I do hope your customers take good care to wash their fruit thoroughly. That however is neither your concern nor mine.

Whilst at work this afternoon, I felt a tad peckish and decided to open my lovely 500g bag of pistachio nuts which I purchased from your store. Now pistachios are my favourite although I am extremely partial to nuts in any shape or form. Being a woman and used to the (unfamiliar to you I’m sure) pastime of multitasking I cracked the nuts in one hand whilst typing with the other. I felt no need to concern myself with the nut cracking hand as I am a bit of a pro. A colleague of mine came across to see me and let out what can only be described as a pre vomit gurgle. I flinched in a gut reaction type way during which the nut fell from my lips. Lo and behold before me was a pistachio, still surrounded by half a shell and nestled in between said shell and salty nut was a dead grub.

My colleague proceeded to vomit into my waste bin which was rather unpleasant and I really can’t seem to shift the smell from under my nasal passages.

Please may I be compensated in some way for my distressing experience?

Yours sincerely

Miss V A Nnoyed