Dear Mr. Turner,

You probably don’t remember me, but I was the lady wearing the very expensive chanel jacket worth well over your hotel’s scabby price limits. As you can probably tell already, this is a letter of great dissatisfaction towards the service and inconvenience I suffered whilst staying at your supposed 3 star hotel.

Firstly, when I arrive at the hotel, I was expected to be greeted upon arrival, but I didn’t even receive a hello, like my existence was reduced to a pleb. I found it very rude, I think I at least deserved a little recognition as for one, it is only polite to greet guests, and two, my dear husband is old and frigid and just wanted to get to the room. We had to wait ten minutes, yes, TEN minutes for a porter to take our luggage to our room. It’s not our problem if you are short-staffed.

The room itself wasn’t bad. We had booked a suite which was thankfully not that far from the entrance so we didn’t have to walk up all of those horrid stairs. However, the tea cups provided in the room were tea-stained and the biscuits were dry and soggy, which is rare for ginger snaps. Sadly for me I lost my engagement ring somewhere in the room. Me and my husband didn’t have time to look for it as we had to get to the theatre, so we asked one of the maids politely is she’d look for it. I was absolutely disgusted with the look she gave me, and very inconveniently corrected me and told me she was actually called a room attendant, not a maid. Same thing, isn’t it? Anyhow, I didn’t like the way she kept eyeing up my chanel jacket, so I told her not to bother and she could skip servicing my room for today.

To make matters worse, that night, whilst waiting for dinner, the service among the waiting staff was horrendous. We had to wait an hour for one steak. I have honestly never encountered such poor service in all my fifty-two years of staying at hotels. Then again, all of the ones I’ve stayed at before had been 4-5 star, we had no choice but to book into yours because all of the rest was full.
After complaining to a very bemused looking waiter, he told me they were short-staffed, the same old nonsense. I tried to explain to him that it wasn’t my problem, and he called me an absurd word. A snob. I have never been so insulted before in my life.

I complained again to reception before my husband and myself departed, and they passed me on to you, the owner- you seemed away with the fairies, and didn’t at all seem interested as to what I had to say. Furious, I stormed out and had to compose myself, my husband was shaking with anger, we were so tempted to march right back in there and give you what for.

However, I decided to be the adult one in all of this. I’m writing this letter to make you see that your hotel is in need of many changes. So, act now, before you lose more dedicated customers like myself.

Yours faithfully,
Miss. Bateman