Dear Mr Sun,

I have been meaning to write for some time and feel that after four excruciatingly long years without you , now is the time. This of course assumes you still exist, which I am no longer certain is the case, as it has been some time since I saw you last.

I appreciate that you have a very busy schedule and have to be in lots of places at any one time, but I had understood (and in fact recall from my childhood, where I very clearly have memories of paddling pools and ice-creams, long since substituted with coffee and a parka) that you had your schedule finely balanced and under control. Perhaps this is not all of your own making and I can suggest some very good recruitment agencies should you find yourself in need of a new PA.

Each morning now I find that I am met with a sullen, cold and frankly wet service. I distinctly recall a time four years ago when I was provided with an excellent service. This is a very poor level of customer care and I can assure you that you will not achieve a star rating with your current attitude. I appreciate that over recent months your hours of service have increased, however, this is not adequate compensation for the poor level of that service. Quality, not quantity is what is important.

In light of this, I implore you to review your schedule and provide a much improved service in the North West of England shortly, before I have no alternative but to take my custom elsewhere. I have checked the comparison websites and am certain of a better service outside of the UK (this also leads me to wonder about your discriminatory practices).

I have made many changes in my daily routine to compensate for your poor performance, including having made clothing purchases at additional cost, and leaving the heating on overnight, to manage through this difficult time.

Therefore, I look forward to hearing from you soon to confirm that normal, if not much improved, service will be resumed shortly.

Yours sincerely,

Mrs Frosty